Recognizing your power to choose … and the choice of travel

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously.  If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life.  You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself” — Robert Bennett //

Why don’t you join me and take a trip across the globe?  Really, I’m serious.

I know, I know.  You’ve got a job and not enough vacation time, you’re paying back loans, don’t have a lot of money, have other commitments like weddings and other special events to go to.  Maybe you have children; maybe you are in a relationship and your significant other can’t go.  There are many good and fair reasons not to go, so I understand why you can’t make it.  But realize this – there will always be great reasons not to go.  It will never be the right time.  It will always feel expensive (unless you are very wealthy – in which case, please consider helping to sponsor my travels by sending a donation to me  ).  There will be conflicts, events to go to, people to see.  So, how do you go if there’s never a right time to go?

First, realize that you have choices, and the ability to make decisions with respect to those choices.  In fact, every day you have a myriad of choices that you are making, many that you don’t even realize.  Should I get out of bed when my alarm goes off?  Should I go into work today?  Should I get done what I need to do or watch TV?  Choices and decisions can be minor or be more drastic — like the decision of whether or not to take a 3 month trip to Southeast Asia.  Remember when your Mom and Dad told you you could do anything you want when you grow up?  Well the good news is, you still can.  Well, pretty much anything.  Really,  you can.  You just need to really want it, be ready to work for it, and be smart about how you use your time as you work.  So you are choosing your own path … and perhaps you may choose to travel.  Great, that is the same choice I made as well.  Perhaps you have no interest in traveling … that is fine too.  But what other dreams do you have?  Interests you’d like to pursue?

After that, write down all the issues, fears, problems, and other reasons you can’t go.  Here were some of mine:

• I am just making enough money to cover my living expenses and loans, so I can’t afford to go

• I’m worried my family won’t support me going on this trip

• I’ve never traveled to Southeast Asia and won’t be able to find my way around on my own

• My company won’t support me taking a trip like this because I don’t have enough vacation time

• I can’t go because I have three weddings during this time that I need to attend

Next, turn your issues/fears and problems into affirmative statements.  Following the above issues:

• I CAN afford to go and can cover my living expenses and loans

• My family WILL support me going on this trip

• I WILL be able to find my way on my own

• My company WILL support me taking a trip like this

• I CAN go despite having three weddings during this time

This becomes your to-do list.  You’re a smart person, now figure out how to address these issues.  Impossible?  Tell that to the woman from New Zealand who traveled for 6 months with an initial bank account balance of $230.  Or the couple who traveled around the world with their 6-year old and 8-year old for a year.  Unconventional?  Certainly.  But impossible?  There have been others before you who have figured out how to make it work.  You can too if you really want to and work to make it happen.

Here is how I addressed my issues:

• Financial situation:  I cut back on discretionary spending to save some money to put towards my trip.  I switched my loans over to a different payment plan that scales with my salary, so that when I am not getting paid by my employer I won’t need to pay back my loans

• I thought about how my family would feel about the trip, and had a discussion with them to address their concerns and transparently share why I was going.  I linked my goals for the trip to their own interests

• To figure out how to travel alone, that was an easy barrier to address – I bought the Lonely Planet guide.  But beyond that, I’ve began telling everyone in my network – friends, family, strangers – about my trip, and you’d be surprised at how many people live in Southeast Asia that you’re just one connection away from.  Now I’ve started having conversations with folks there to get advice on where to go … hopefully I’ll be able to line up times to visit with folks as well

• Reading into my companies policies, I saw that we had an HR policy that allows for a leave of absence up to 12 months subject to approval.  I did some research online on how to put together an LOA proposal and made a presentation that I shared with my boss and HR to get approval to go

• The weddings – I just called up each couple and asked them to change the date of their special days and they were able to accommodate.  No, I kid.  This was a tough one, as I really would have liked to have gone to all those events.  Perhaps I’ll be able to make a separate trip out to visit them all for a different special event, or even just to hang out

So you see – I made the impossible, possible — by realizing I had a decision and choice to make, figuring out what my fears and problems were, and turning that into a to-do list to problem solve.

Lessons Learned

• Turning your issues and fears into affirmative and action-oriented statements can help you realize the power you have to affect your own life

• You can make the impossible possible by recognizing that issues and fears, when reframed in the affirmative, can be transformed into a to-do list to accomplish your goals